The Yankees Blast Their Way To a 10 Spot, Fat, Lazy Gary Sanchez Set A Career High In Homers And James Paxton Shoved His Balls Down The Rangers' Throats

Yankees 10 Rangers 1

The Yankees absolutely teed off on the Rangers tonight, but that wasn’t the story. The story of the game was Mr. James Paxton. The Big Maple was a force on the bump tonight. 7 innings, 1 hit, 1 walk, 12 strikeouts. Unhittable. Since August began Paxton has been a different guy. He won all six of his starts last month, posting a 3.57 ERA and allowing an opponents batting average of just .192. Tonight he had perfect game stuff. It was beautiful to watch.

Goddamn if this is what we’re getting for the stretch run and October then I won’t know what to do with myself. Very quickly the 1-2 of Paxton and Tanaka has become a nice thought in a postseason series. Mix in a bullpen game and something with Domingo and Sevy and things don’t look so bad after all.

Now to the offense….

Gary Sanchez blasted two bombs, setting a new career high in homers with 34 and breaking the Yankees catchers home run record in a single season. But he’s fat, lazy, and doesn’t know a thing about baseball so I guess that doesn’t matter.

The Parrot Man returned off the I.L. and promptly blasted a ball into outer space. That was fun. We’re having fun. Gleyber has his stuffed parrot back.

The Yankees were shutout for the first time in 220 games yesterday. They responded today with a 10 spot. I love these guys.